Tidbit Tuesday: Don’t Be That Guy
Please, whatever you do, don’t be that person (male or female). You know the one. Always in the forums, groups, and chat boards with the pompous demeanor. They either actually have valuable experience but come across as an a-hole when giving information and critiques or, even worse and more common, they have no valuable experience whatsoever but still come across as an a-hole when giving information and critiques. Their banter always ruins a potentially awesome post and then everyone becomes defensive, even if the douche wasn’t addressing them. Boards are meant for learning, not for crushing spirits and creating controversy yet I’ve seen it all too often on so many sites.
Not sure if you’re that person? Well do you always feel inclined to give your two cents even when it isn’t sought for? Do you give commands instead of suggestions? Do you supply unsupported advice, no examples, reference links, or videos to help explain your point? Are you always in forums just laughing at amateurs? Do you find that someone always rebutts with hostility to your responses? Ding ding ding you’re that person! Don’t want to be that person? It’s simple really! Provide useful feedback in a manner that’s pleasant. You don’t have to baby the person but you also don’t have to bash their efforts.
I used to refuse to ask for a critical critique because I knew that I would be drawn to reply sarcastically and that would only pull the pompous jerk further into foolery, but without help from those who’ve been where I was I wouldn’t advance any. My #1 recommendation for dealing with “those” people, which I too had to learn, is ignore them. Most of our guardians have given us this tidbit to dealing with bullies in life, but it works best with cyber bullies. They can’t hit you or hurt you in any manner and ignoring, reporting, or blocking them typically makes them go away! Having a whole happy and productive conversation around their comments bruises their ego the most since all they crave is attention. Next time you see a forum buzz kill, instruct everyone on the post to ignore them and see how well it works!
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